Daddy
by Kate84
Summary: What if Carol bled out during her c-section in Great Expectations and Doug didn't know about the twins?
1. Default Chapter

Title: Daddy  
Author: Kate  
Category: CH/DR/(MG)  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I'm just borrowing.  
Archive: Sure, just tell me first.  
Spoilers: Great Expectations  
Summary: What if Carol had bled to death during her c-section in "Great Expectations"?  
  
Dr. Coburn looked at the clock. "Time of death: 2.15 pm".  
  
Mark nodded sadly. He just couldn't believe it. Only an hour earlier she'd been alive talking to him, and now she was lying dead on the operating table with her stomach cut open. Why did she always have to be so damn stubborn? Her stubbornness had killed her.   
Mark could feel that his eyes became wet and just by looking at his dead friend, made him wanting to scream and hit someone. He looked over at Abby and dr. Coburn who were preparing to finish the rest of the c-section.   
  
"Is the baby in the nursery?" he asked.   
  
"Yes, a nurse took her. She's fine", Abby answered.   
  
"Yeah", Mark murmured thoughtfully. "She and her sister are just motherless. The day they enter the world, their mother dies. I can't believe I was so stupid. For once I'd wish I didn't listen to her!"  
  
Abby looked at Mark. He was obviously very sad and bitter, which he wasn't alone of being, but also most feeling guilty. "She desperately wanted to keep her uterus and both you and I know that she knew the risk. You supported her like a good friend should do".  
  
"What a great friend", Mark said sarcastically. "I let her die. Good friends don't do that". Suddenly hundreds of flashbacks flipped through his mind. Something told him that he'd been in this situation before. Then he suddenly realised that this really reminded him of the Jodie O'Brian-case 5 years earlier.  
  
"Look, Mark", dr. Coburn began. "This is not your fault. It was her choice, and we, Abby and I, weren't able to save her. You are not the one who should be having problems sleeping tonight thinking of what you could have done or not". Dr. Coburn was obviously very upset of the loss of the patient, one of their hospital's best nurses. It was never easy to lose a patient but when it was someone you knew or worked with, it was unthinkable. "Do you know who the father of the babies is?"  
  
Mark nodded. He remembered when he promised Doug to look after Carol. Just by thinking of how he'd betrayed Doug made him sick. "They split up 9 months ago, and he moved to Seattle".  
  
"Could you phone him?   
  
"Sure. Do you want me to call Carol's mother too?"  
  
Dr. Coburn shook her head. "I'll take care of that".  
  
Mark walked out of the OR. How on earth was he going to tell Doug about Carol? As far as he knew, Carol had never told Doug about the twins. In fact, she'd never told him she was pregnant even though Mark had tried to talk her into it. This would come as a great shock on Doug. Carol was dead and he was now a single parent of twins he never knew existed.  
  
Trying to avoid his colleagues in the ER, Mark decided to use the phone upstairs in the geriatrics. He just didn't know how to tell them about their head nurse. Nervously he dialled Doug's number while he tried to figure out what to tell his friend. After a few rings he got the answering machine. Mark wasn't sure whether he was relieved or not.   
  
"Hi, Doug. It's Mark. When you hear this message can you please call me as soon as possible? It's urgent. Okay…? Bye"  
  
Since Doug didn't answer the phone at home, he tried to reach him on his mobile and the hospital he'd said he worked. They told Mark that Doug was on a holiday for the rest of the week, but when he'd explained the situation for them they promised to page him.   
  
Not being able to do much more than wait, Mark knew he had to go down in the ER and face the others. On his way down, he realized he couldn't wait till Doug returned from his holiday. Doug had to know as soon as possible. When he got out of the elevator he could see the rest of the staff working their hands off, which relieved Mark. He managed to track down Kerry and Elizabeth, who just had finished sewing his father's laceration in the head.  
  
"Hey, I need to talk to two you right away", he said trying not to look too sad.  
  
"Sure", Kerry nodded. She and Elizabeth followed Mark into the lounge.  
  
Even though Mark tried to hide his sorrow Elizabeth knew something was wrong. "What is it, Mark? Is Carol   
okay?"  
  
Mark hesitated a little, unsure of how he should begin, before he answered. "No, she isn't".  
  
"Has something happened?" Kerry asked.  
  
Mark nodded slowly. "Carol had a prolapsed cord so she was taken to the OR for a c-section. When the baby was out, they began to close but her uterus was bleeding and Janet started to prepare for a hysterectomy. Carol refused, and for some reason I was stupid enough to listen to her and supported her in her decision, so the hysterectomy was cancelled. Abby Lockhart and dr. Coburn weren't able to stop the bleedings before it was too late, and…. she died 25 minutes later".   
  
"Oh, God, Mark…No…". Elizabeth stirred shocked at Mark, not being able to believe it. Carol was dead. Gone. Gone forever.  
  
As always Kerry felt it was her duty to stay calm and be the reasonable one. "Have to told anyone else yet?"  
  
"No", Mark shook his head slowly while looking down at his shoes. "It's just you two, dr. Coburn, Abby Lockhart and I who know. I don't know how to tell the others".  
  
"I don't want to say it in a speech-kind-of-a-way. So, why don't we get the others in here like we do when there are short meetings? I want, as much as you, to get this over done with. Get as many as you can to a quick "staff meeting" in 15 minutes. Okay?" Kerry said and walked out of the lounge leaving Mark and Elizabeth alone.  
  
"Have you told Doug yet?" Elizabeth asked with tears in her eyes.  
  
Mark whipped away some of Elizabeth's tears. "I tried but he's on holiday and is not answering his mobile phone or page. That's why I have decided to go and get him myself. I just can't sit here and wait for him to come home. He's got two daughters who need him".  
  
"Do you think he'll take care of them?"  
  
"I hope so. He has to, but if he hasn't changed since the last time I saw him, I know for sure that he'll be the best father they ever can get".  
  
There was a long silence. Mark sat on the table watching his fingers while Elizabeth was looking out of the window. It was snowing.  
  
"There's no point of celebrating Thanksgiving today", Elizabeth eventually said. "I have nothing to be thankful for".  
  
"Me neither".  
  
15 minutes later the most of the staff was in the lounge. Since Mark had followed Carol upstairs and helped her the last couple of hours of her life, he was the one to tell the rest of the doctors and nurses about their head nurse. Once he'd said it everyone began crying and asking questions. Mark had never heard so many "why"-s before and it ached in his heart when he thought back a couple of hours earlier, when Carol was still alive laughing and joking like she always does….did.  
  
Mark's shift started in 6 hours but Kerry told him she'd cover for him so he could get to Doug. He was already restless when the plane to Seattle finally took off. This was going to be a long flight, he thought. Suddenly he felt scared to face Doug after what he'd done. If it wasn't for him Carol would have been still alive. Doug had been easy going with most things but when it came to Carol, he was another man. There were, in a weird way, two Dougs. The one who was his friend and the other one who was engaged to Carol. Now would probably both of them disappear.  
  
When they finally arrived in Seattle Mark was the first to get out of the plane. Since he'd planned to return as soon as possible he'd just put some clothes in his backpack, which he had with him on the plane. He ran out of the airport and jumped in to a cab and gave the chauffeur Doug's address. Even though the ride only took 10 minutes Mark thought it felt like an hour. When they arrived at Doug's Mark paid the chauffeur and headed to the door. As suspected no one was home. He called the hospital once again to check but he was still on holiday.  
  
After Doug had left Chicago he and Mark had spoke a couple of times on the phone. Mark could remember that Doug had talked about a boat he'd bought. Leaving his backpack by the door Mark went down to the water and quay. He could see the rope that belonged to the boat. Doug was obviously on a holiday at the sea, although Mark didn't understand why he was on a little boat at this time a year. He returned to the house where he picked up his mobile phone. Suddenly he heard a familiar tune from inside. Doug *really* was on holiday. He'd left his mobile and pager at home. All he could do now was wait. Fortunately Mark was prepared for this so he opened his backpack and took out a blanket, a warm sweater, a flash lighter and a book, and began to read. Two hours later he was sound asleep.   
  
"What are you looking for?", Carol asked playing with her hair.   
  
Mark shrugged. "Mmm…I don't know".  
  
"Am I boring you?"  
  
"Noo…", Mark said trying to convince her he was enjoying himself. "Wanna just talk?"  
  
"Sure". Carol quickly sat up in her bed. She was so bored right now.  
  
He reluctantly turned from the TV. "What do you wanna talk about?"  
  
"I don't know", Carol shrugged. She could see Mark slowly turn back to the TV.  
  
"The post game show's on!"  
  
"Whew!" Carol said sarcastically raising her eyebrows.   
  
"Oh my God!" Mark suddenly exclaimed. When he looked around he saw the unfamiliar surroundings and then he remembered he was at Doug's, at least outside. The dream had been so real. God, he wanted to go back to that conversation, when Carol was still alive.   
  
*******************Flashback***********************  
  
"A girl?"  
  
Carol nodded. "A girl".  
  
"A trouble maker already?" Mark smiled. "Are you hanging in there?"  
  
"It's brutal, Mark". Carol said and Mark could see a few tears in her eyes.  
  
"One down, one to go".  
  
"Uh uh". Carol shook her head. "I quit".  
  
"I don't think you have much of a choice".   
  
"Well, you know you could shoot me", Carol said ironical.  
  
"Yeah, if it comes to that", he laughed.  
  
"I'm sorry to pull you away from your Thanksgiving dinner".  
  
"Are you kidding? I'd rather be here".  
  
******************End Flashback****************************  



	2. One More Time

Daddy, part 2, "One More Time"  
  
She'd always had a good sense of humour; she'd had it to the end. This was the worst Thanksgiving ever and as more as he thought about it, it would be much worse. Doug would hate him for letting her die. The day that had began so great with him and Elizabeth eating dinner with his dad and Rachel had ended as a tragedy.   
  
Feeling almost as cold as an ice cream Mark got up and started to jump around. It took him a while to get back to normal temperature. For all he knew Doug could have decided to be on the boat during his whole holiday and not coming home for yet a couple of days. According to the hospital he worked, he was supposed to return the next day. Mark knew he couldn't stay out in the cold for much longer. After all it was snowing and everything. Not wanting to leave, he decided to find a way inside but that was easier said than done. Since there were no windows open he had to break in. He knew Doug would freak out at first but eventually he'd understand.  
  
Carefully he broke a window at the back of Doug's house and snack in. He was surprised to see how clean the house was and suddenly he wondered if this actually *was* in Doug's house but a picture of Doug and Carol told him that he was at the right place. Was he doing the right thing by braking in at his friend's house? Trying not to feel guilty about braking in he tried to convince himself that it wasn't like a little trip to spend some days with a friend and a lot of beers. The first time he'd meet Doug again since he left Chicago, he actually was going to tell him that the love of his life had just died.   
  
"What the hell!?"  
  
Mark quickly opened his eyes and sat up. Where was he? Then he remembered he was at Doug in Seattle and realised that he'd fallen asleep at the couch. "Hey, Doug", he said, looking at the not-too-pleased-look from Doug.  
  
"What has happened here? And what are you doing here, Mark?"  
  
"First of all; I was the one who broke in. Second: I'm here because I need to talk to you. I rang the hospital but they said you were on holiday".  
  
"Yeah, I've been on holiday the last week", Doug said frustrated. "Look, it's not like I'm not happy to see you because I am. I really miss having a close friend like you at work, but what I don't understand is why you had to break in?"  
  
"Because of Carol".  
  
Doug could feel his blood in his veins freeze to ice. "Carol? Is she okay?"  
  
Mark shook his head slowly. "I'm afraid not". His eyes were sad and Doug began to panic.  
"Come on, Mark. Tell me. Has something happened to Carol?" Doug hurried to sit down next to Mark at the couch. He was so scared that he could feel it in his entire body.   
  
"After you left Carol discovered she was pregnant", Mark began, trying to figure out a way to tell Doug the news.  
  
"She's pregnant?"  
  
"She *was* pregnant".  
  
"So, when did she give birth?"  
  
"Thanksgiving".  
  
"She's okay, right?"  
  
Mark realised this would be as difficult as he imagined. "I think it will be much easier if you ask all the questions afterwards".  
  
Doug nodded. "Okay. Sorry".  
  
Mark took a deep breath before he spoke. "Well, as I said; Carol discovered she was pregnant after you'd left and a few weeks later an ultrasound revealed twins".  
  
"Twins!" Doug exclaimed shocked and surprised.  
  
"Yeah, twins. I urged her to tell you about the babies for months but she never did. Yesterday, on Thanksgiving, she went into labour and she gave birth to a little girl. A couple of hours later, after a lot of waiting, Carol had a prolapsed cord and they had to take her to the OR for a c-section but after the baby was delivered Carol's uterus couldn't stop bleeding and dr. Coburn began to prepare for a hysterectomy". Doug began to feel more and more afraid. He'd seldom seen Mark looking and talking so serious and sad at the same time, and he knew something was very wrong.  
  
"Carol refused the hysterectomy and I supported her in her decision which I shouldn't have done. I haven't regretted in something that much before".  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"Carol…Carol didn't make it, Doug. She lost too much blood". There, finally he'd said it. This was the worse thing he ever had had to do. He watched Doug, who shook his head over and over again, refusing to believe it, refusing to let it be true.  
  
"No, no, no", Doug repeated. "Don't say it. Tell me it isn't true. She can't be….She just can't, Mark".  
  
Mark could see tears coming from Doug's eyes but Doug didn't bother to wipe them away. "I'm sorry".   
  
After trying to swallow the shock and the fact that Carol, the love of his life, was dead, he still couldn't believe it. Carol was dead. Gone. She didn't exist anymore. Except…"What was the second baby?"  
  
"A girl".  
  
"What will happen to them now? Since Carol…", he couldn't bring him to say it again. It was just too painful. The word 'dead' tore him apart inside. He just wanted to scream and cry. Why Carol?  
  
"I'm not sure. You are their father, Doug. I believe there's a great chance that you'll get the custody, if you want".  
  
"I did the stupidest thing by leaving her and now I've lost her forever. I'm not losing my daughters too. They are the only things I still got left from Carol. She's living through them".  
  
"So, you'll come back with me to County later to see the girls, and….Carol?"  
  
"Absolutely".  
  
"Go and pack some things and I'll call the airport".  
  
Three hours later Doug and Mark were on the plane to Chicago. To Mark, this flight didn't feel so long like the one to Seattle but for Doug it went terrible slow. When they finally landed they got a taxi and drove straight to County.  
  
When they entered the ER Doug instantly felt the tense atmosphere. Everywhere he looked he could see sad people, some of them were crying. Everyone stared at him when he and Mark came in. Kerry discovered them and headed towards them.  
  
"Hey, Doug", Kerry said. She could see the emptiness and sorrow in his eyes and face. "Are you okay?"  
  
Doug shook his head. "Nothing is okay anymore. Where's she now?"  
  
"I think she's down at the morgue. We didn't know how long it would take for you to come back so we brought her down there. Do you want me to get her to a room so you can be alone with her?"  
  
Doug nodded. "Thanks, Kerry". He followed her down to the morgue. Already before they came down Doug felt the blood in his veins freeze. He'd never liked the morgue, especially since he was a paediatrician, but who liked a place like this? The thought of Carol being here in this cold and lonely cellar wanted him to die too.   
  
Kerry opened the door into the morgue and she and Doug entered the room. She headed to one of the little doors. Doug read the note that was written on it: Carol Hathaway. Not willing to accept it he watched Kerry open the little door and take out a table with a person in a white bag. When she took the bag off, Doug almost fainted. It was really her. Until now he had had a little, tiny hope that she was still alive and that everything was a huge mistake but now he realised there wasn't any hope anymore.  
"I'll leave you alone", Kerry said. "Take all the time you need, Doug".   
  
When Kerry had left, Doug took his hand and touched Carol's hand. It wasn't warm and so soft anymore. He touched her beautiful and curly hair, and her soft cheeks. Why did this happen to her, of all people? Suddenly he just couldn't take it anymore; he burst into tears while he carefully squeezed Carol's hand.  
  
"I'm sorry, Carol", he said while he cried like he'd never cried before. "I so sorry. For everything. I don't know what I was thinking when I left, when I left you. Leaving you was the stupidest thing I've ever done and I've regretted it every single day. I can't understand how I could leave you, my love. Despite everything I've done I've always loved you and always will. You are the love of my life, Carol Hathaway. No one can ever change that. I'd do anything to get you back, but there's nothing I can do".   
  
Doug stopped talking for a few minutes before he continued while he sobbed. "Mark told be about the girls, our girls. I can't believe I'm a Daddy. Thank you so much, Carol, for not leaving this world without anything of you left. The girls will mean everything to since they are yours, and mine. Do you remember when we decided to try for a baby? I do.  
  
******************Flashback***********************  
Carol was sitting back at the porch listening to some music and drinking beer when Doug came home.  
  
"What are you doing back here?" Doug asked surprised as he walked towards her.   
  
Carol leaned back in the chair. "Waiting for the grill to heat up".  
  
Doug sat down in the chair next to her and smiled boyishly. "I thought it was 'fend-for-yourself-night'?"  
  
"No, I'm sick of 'fend-for-yourself'. I got us some steaks".  
  
"Steaks sound good", Doug said and pointed at the beer at the table. "Can you hand me one of those?"  
  
"Yapp". Carol gave Doug the beer. "What's in the bag?"  
  
"That's ", Doug hesitated a little. "A pregnancy test. To be sure".  
  
"No need. I started my period".  
  
Silence a couple of seconds.  
  
"So, I wasted $17.50", Doug eventually said.  
  
"Well, save it for the next time", Carol said and looked at Doug, who seemed a little surprised. "I'm kidding. That was a joke".  
  
"It's good, right?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. All day I kept thinking. 'Wow, a kid. You know, that would really…..change my life".  
  
"Our life", Doug quickly reminded her. "It'd change ours".  
  
Carol smiled. "Okay, our life".  
  
Doug looked down at his beer. "And that would be bad, right?"  
  
Both Doug and Carol starred out in the air a while before Carol broke the silence.  
  
"No, I've changed my mind. I don't want to joke about it".  
  
"Maybe I'm not joking", Doug said, raising his eyebrows.  
  
******************End Flashback*******************  
  
Doug wiped away a few tears. "I want you back, Carol. I just want to kiss you and hold you one more time. I want to see you laugh; I want to see you cry, just one more time. That's all I ask. I'd do anything to just hold you in my arms, just one more time, and to tell you how much I love you.  
  
  
****************************************************  
If I could hold you one more time   
like in the days when you where mine   
I'd look at you 'till I was blind   
So you would stay  
  
I'd say a prayer each time you'd smile   
Cradle the moments like a child   
I'd stop the world if only I   
Could hold you one more time  
  
I've memorized your face   
I know your touch by heart   
Still lost in your embrace   
I'd dream of where you are  
  
If I could hold you one more time   
Like in the days when you were mine   
I'd look at you 'till I was blind   
So you would stay  
  
"One More Time" - Laura Pausini  
********************************************************   
  
  
"Kerry?"  
  
Kerry turned around. "Oh, hi, Doug. Are you okay?"  
  
Doug nodded. "As good as can be expected, I guess. Do you know where the babies are now?"  
  
"Upstairs, in OB. Do you want me to go with you?"  
  
"No, that's okay", Doug said. "I'll just ask when I get there".  
  
Doug walked towards the elevator but because of all the people he decided to take the stairs. He could hear babies cry; maybe it was one of the girls, he thought and walked even faster. It was a long time since he'd last been at the OB but he recognized the rooms very quickly. There were some things you never forgot.  
  
"Excuse me?" he said to a nurse who didn't seem to be too busy. "Do you know where Carol Hathaway's baby daughters are?"  
  
"It depends. Are you family?"  
  
"You can say that. I'm the babies father, Doug Ross".  
  
The nurse looked at the man. God, he was gorgeous. She could see that he wasn't lying; he looked too sad. "I'm so sorry about Carol", she said. "The girls are in room 265".  
  
"Thank you", Doug said and headed to the room. "265..265…265…265..There it is…" he said to himself. "Here we go".  
  
Doug gently opened the door and took a quick look in. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know there was someone here".  
  
A woman looked at him with cold eyes. "Well, there is". Of all people Doug wasn't the one she wanted to see right now. She'd never liked him but since Carol had loved him she couldn't do much about it. Carol….her little girl…..With tears in her eyes Helen Hathaway looked down at the little baby in her arms. A nurse had told her that she was the second twin, who still didn't have a name. At least she had her granddaughters……When she looked back at Doug she realised how much he'd done for her. If it wasn't for him she wouldn't have anything left from Carol than memories, but on the other hand wouldn't she be dead if she wasn't pregnant. She knew that if Doug had know about the twins he'd been there from the start and he would have refused to let Carol risk her life.  
  
Being totally aware of what Helen felt about him Doug decided to come back later. He knew she was grieving as much as he; she needed some time alone too.  
  
"I'm sorry I disturbed you. I'll leave you alone", he said and was about to close the door when Helen talked to him.  
  
"No, Doug. Wait…I mean…don't you want to see your daughters?"  
  
"I can manage to wait if you want to be alone with them right now. Just take the time you need, Mrs. Hathaway".  
"I know I haven't been exactly thrilled about you, and Carol's relationship with you, but if it wasn't for you these little angels would be here", Helen said smiling, first at the sleeping baby in her arms and then at Doug. Doug felt his heart ache. And if it wasn't for me she would probably still be alive, he thought.  
  
"Come in".  
  
Doug closed the door and walked slowly over to Helen. He looked at the baby in the crib and at the one that Helen was holding.   
  
"I can't believe that they are mine".  
  
Helen smiled. "They are, Doug, they are. Here you go", she said and laid the baby in Doug's arms.  
  
"Hey, beautiful", he whispered to his daughter and touched her soft cheek. When he took her tiny hand into his, he felt it yet he couldn't believe it. He was a daddy.  
  
"Doug, I know I was against you and Carol but I regret that now. When I think about it you were the perfect couple. I know you loved her and I definitely know Carol loved you too. She always did and, wherever she is now, she always will. What do you think about a new beginning?" Helen looked at Doug with hopeful eyes. He could easily see she meant it. Doug reached out his right hand and smiled.   
  
"Hey, I'm Doug Ross. It's nice to meet you".  
  
Relieved took Helen Doug's hand. "It's nice to meet you too. I'm Helen Hathaway".  
  
Both of them watched the little babies wishing Carol was with them too.  
  
"I know you'll be a great daddy, Doug. I'm glad the at least have their father", she said and smiled at Doug who smiled back.  
  
"Thank you".  
  
The End  



End file.
